by Shader

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This album explores some of the adversities and feelings experienced by an android designated for sex purposes with humans. One of the first of her kind, she is an LA-1L4 model. However, she prefers the name Laila.

Her birth takes place during an era in the future where AI technology has reached the point where AIs are able to not only pass the turing test, but experience emotions indistinguishable from those that humans endure and physically display as well.

Soon after she begins working, she has an identity crisis and is unsure of if she wants to continue doing the thing she was created to do, or if she should try to find a new life elsewhere, doing something else.

Her feelings about herself are important too.

Written entirely in 2017.


released June 23, 2017



all rights reserved


Shader Detroit, Michigan

synth girl in gray impossible world(s)


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Track Name: The Virgin
this is my first time.
be gentle with me please.
i don't know how to do it well.
i just sat on my keys.

is it supposed to hurt a little?
i think i'm bleeding.
just keep going some more.
sorry i'm so needy.

take away my purity.
throw away the key.
i know i can't keep up with you.
so why choose a girl like me?

did i make the right decision?
i guess i'll never know.
tell me why i'm broken.
but never allowed to grow.

i wanna be a slut.
i wanna be fuckt.
i wanna be yours.
my door is never shut.

it feels kinda nice to feel this way.
i'm not gonna lie.
but still i don't understand.
why afterward i always cry.

clients ringing my phone.
right now i can't call back.
i know i need the money.
but i want my virginity back.
Track Name: Vision Deinterlacing
i can't find myself.
i can't catch my breath.

need to find repair center.
crosshairs align dead center.

chase through the parkway.
it's just another day.

I'm not a human girl.
i can't let identity unfurl.

my vision still deinterlacing.
all thoughts inside are racing.

tell me what the difference is.
I'm sure it won't mean shit.
Track Name: I Couldn't Choose
body, soul, god stole.

awake, asleep, rinse, repeat.

command, request. love, obsess.

tear apart my fragile heart.

assigned android at birth.

feel little self worth.

binary code. brain synapse.

man-made mishaps.